Opinions on talking to a teacher

Curran · Apr 9, 2012

I've had this one on my mind since Saturday. Somewhere in an innocent conversation my 1st grade son brings up a piece of information I found irritating. The background of the conversation was the topic of "marriage" because for what ever reason that's what he and my daughter were talking about. I over hear him say something like this, "No that's not true, my teacher told us that in some states boys can marry other boys, and girls can marry other girls."

I stopped doing what I was doing, and asked him to explain further what he meant. He went on to basically say that his teacher "explained to the class that boys don't always have to marry girls. That if they wanted to, they could go to other states and boys could marry boys, or girls could marry girls." I didn't press for much more information, and simply told him that boys marry girls. Anything else is just kinda silly. Then as kids that age do, they move on...

I'm probably gonna send a short note to the teacher, asking her to help me understand the overall context of the conversation in which this subject came up. Personally, I don't care if somebody is gay, straight, bi, what ever. What bothers me is that is a 1st grade classroom the appropriate place to bring up the topic of gay marriage? In my opinion, "no" that's a topic best handled by parents.

So, what's the best way to cross this bridge with a teacher, without starting a firestorm? I don't want to throw her under the bus, but if she is crossing lines that shouldn't be crossed in the classroom I don't have a problem doing it.

Thoughts?

bowhunter1023 · Apr 9, 2012

As you know, I have no kids or any sense of how to raise one, so take my advice for what its worth Sean...

For starters, I agree with you that this is not something a 1st grader needs to hear from his teacher. My thoughts on gay marriage have changed over the past few years, so I'm less likely to persecute her for her opinion if it is indeed "supportive" of the issue. I would start by explaining what was said to you and ask how the topic came up. Once I heard her response, I'd take it from there. I think you can express your feelings and opinions without flaming her, unless of course she is just another illogical liberal/woman. If that is what she proves to be, then I think you go over her head to the principal...

Huckleberry Finn · Apr 9, 2012

Good luck combating that one...nothing pisses me off more than liberal indoctrination of children in union-led public schools (and no, I'm not a homeschool or private/Christian school advocate, that pisses me off more).

I'd say fugg the bridge and storm the castle, but I'm sure someone else has a more professional way of dealing with it! Good for you for standing up though

Beentown · Apr 9, 2012

I would burn down the classroom! My lovely bride would talk me down from that...

This is actually something that I would do face to face with a witness. Maybe the Super or Principle. Ask for the meeting but don't give specifics about to topic of the meeting to keep them from preparing. This request should not be an issue. At the meeting I would ask about your sons performance, what you can do to help, and be all around easy to talk with as I know you are.

After your planned pleasantries (sp?) I would simply state what your son said and let them react and answer. It would be hard for me to do but I would stay silent and make them talk. After they answer you can lead the conversation with what you would like to see in the future...maybe keep another less "intestinally fortified" parent from having to deal.

Buckmaster · Apr 9, 2012

Just tell her you have strong enough feelings about it to confront the topic and how is it related to their 1st grade curriculum?

"J" · Apr 9, 2012

That's no place to discuss such a confusing topic for someone of that age... I'd be furious and as was stated tell the teacher and the principal you'd like a meeting and keep the reason vague.... Let them know you don't appreciate that being discussed in a first grade classroom..... Friggin liberal treachers are going too ruin this countries young minds.....

rgecko23 · Apr 9, 2012

I do not believe that the teacher brought this up in the classroom of 1st graders. If it is of her opinion it is OK, then so be it. But DO NOT press your opinion on impressionable young minds. These are 1st grade students and they are best let to hear this subject at home. not from a teacher. Her job is to teach the curriculum and that is it. Not same sex marriage.

I would be pretty upset if I were you dude, but it is not my children.

1hornwilly · Apr 9, 2012

Sean, I think you are right on. I think you go to the teacher first and if you don't get the response you are looking for, you head up the chain until you do. Regardless of your personal thoughts on gay marriage, if you can keep it in the realm of what is and isn't appropriate for a first grader, you stand a chance of making an impact. It's also legal to stone people if you move to another country...that's also not a topic for a 1st grade classroom. It's legal for family members to marry in some tribal cultures or for man to marry multiple wives in other places. None of those are relevant to a kids classroom. The teachers should at a minimum reflect what is legal in Ohio first and then what's appropriate second. Just because something is possible doesn't make it a good topic for a first grade classroom. My bet is the teacher will apologize and watch their p's a q's if you come of as a concerned parent and not a hell-raising lunatic (which you won't). It's hard to believe we have to deal with this issue while raising our kids, but it's real life these days. I'm sure you'll do the right thing here and we all look forward to hearing about your conversation.

hickslawns · Apr 9, 2012

Lovely. I agree with most here. Setup an appointment. Make it a point to bite your tongue. Listen to the response and how it relates to first grade. Then point out the idiocies of the matter. Marriage (straight or gay) has jack squat to do with first grade.

Hoytmania · Apr 9, 2012

Nothing I an add everything has already been said. Good Luck Sean.

5Cent · Apr 9, 2012

I agree with setting up a discussion with her too. That is complete BS and I would be putting a stop to that nonsense as soon as possible.

cotty16 · Apr 9, 2012

Definitely talk to the teacher first. If you don't like the response, then go to the Principal, etc... Go through the chain of command. There are a ton of sensitive topics that come up in a classroom. It is our job to curtail them and move onto something else. I hear kids all the time say something like, "Did you know Melissa likes Mary?" You know, something horseshit like that. I just change the subject and ignore it. When they see I won't take the bait then they usually stop.

But, in the first grade???? I hope this lady had a real good reason to talk about this. My guess is some student brought it up. She should've said she'd talk to that kid after class and not addressed it in front of the whole classroom. You have every right to question her.

Heck, when we get into poilitics (and it comes up alot in our history class because I teach the formation of parties), I'm a nervous wreck. I never know what kids will take home and offend a parent. So, I try to stay on the pure hard facts and not stray onto crazy left or right wing stances. Anyway... why this teacher would've brought that crap up is beyond me! Keep us posted.

Tree Monkey · Apr 9, 2012

As a teacher, i feel that it is an early age to discuss that topic also I agree with Cotty.....talk to the teacher, you could get it settled pretty easy. If you don't feel your point was made then go to the principal.

huntn2 · Apr 9, 2012

Sean, I agree in talking to the teacher. I just read your post to Alyssa since she teaches kindergarten. She said she would only address it in the classroom if it came up in class (perhaps a student has 2 moms or 2 dads...) and the teacher was trying to put ease to the situation....that said, Alyssa said she wouldn't have talked about having to go somewhere else to marry...

Sent from my SCH-I500 using Tapatalk

DJK Frank 16 · Apr 10, 2012

Wow 1st grade conversation, really?

That is no place for that type of discussion. I would go to the teacher first, and try to settle it that way. Then like others said, bring the principal into the picture if it doesn't seem like your message was taken seriously or getting anywhere.

My opinions are simple, in our school, we stopped saying the pledge of allegiance and having morning prayer, so there is no way that gay marriage is a valid topic for discussion!

It just erks me some of the opinions and beliefs that teachers/instructors try to pass along to students, when they should just stick to the books and the actual information that they are required to teach.

If all else fails have Beener burn that mother down... :smiley_clap:

Ohiosam · Apr 10, 2012

Not sure of the context that this came up but I see no problem having a polite but firm conversation with the teacher and administration. However kids today are exposed to this stuff all the time, TV, radio, music, friends etc. you can't completely shelter them. What you can do is let them know there are things that go on in the world that Mom and Dad disagree with, and explain to them why you feel something is wrong even when society accepts it. It is never too early to begin that type of lesson.

Raising kids has never been harder, glad mine are mostly grown.

Jackalope · Apr 10, 2012

Tell her its not her place to teach said subject to first graders.. And to use her masters degree for something more fitting it usefulness, like showing kids how to glue macaroni to construction paper and don't eat the paste. And if you hear of this shit again you'll expect equal time to be given to the Westborough Baptist Church to speak at the school when you invite them.

That might go over well.

Beentown · Apr 10, 2012

Don't forget to wear your God Hates Fags shirt...

Mike · Apr 10, 2012

Good luck and I'm glad it's not me. I would be the one that jumps her shit and come to find out she was just doing damaged control because a kid has two moms.

Gern186 · Apr 11, 2012

Is the teacher hot? If she is then you need to schedule a face to face meeting. If she is not, I would send a note in your child's homework folder explaining your concerns. It sounds unclear on how the topic was brought up, so before you know that I would tend to give the teacher some leeway. If the teacher is the one that brought up the topic, then I wouldn't be as easy on her.....there is no reason to be discussing this topic in any detail to first graders.

Opinions on talking to a teacher

Senior Member

Owner/Operator

Senior Member

Dignitary Member

Senior Member

Git Off My Lawn

*Supporting Member*

*Supporting Member III*

Dignitary Member

Dignitary Member

Dignitary Member

Dignitary Member

Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

*Supporting Member*

Dignitary Member

Dignitary Member

Dignitary Member

Dignitary Member

Supporting Member

Supporting Member III

Supporting Member