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The layoff

Sgt Fury

Sgt. Spellchecker
Business was terrible and not picking up. I had to fire somebody, and I narrowed it down to one of two people, Veronica or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, I decided I would fire the first one who used the water-cooler the next morning.

When Veronica came in with a horrible hangover after partying all night, she went directly to the cooler to take an aspirin. I approached her and said, "Veronica, I’ve never done this before, but I have to either lay you or Jack off.”

"Could you jack-off for now?" she replied. "I feel like shit. If you can wait, I'll do you at lunchtime.”