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is it a good or bad idea to let my daughter visit her mom in jail?

3800

Junior Member
3
0
since there is an off topic section here I thought I might ask about this and I have browsed this site before


My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old has been sentenced to jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter we should be glad her mother is serving time for her actions. Doing the right thing for her mistakes. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree
I think it is good to prepare in advance for her absence for the next six months. I wonder what are some good ways to do so, we still have time one of the things we must figure out is how to prepare for this upcoming incarceration. What are some good ways especially for each person to prepare for this?
My daughter seems to be taking it fine , she also said it is kind of funny that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about i shouldI take her to visit her mother when she is in jail, or is it a bad idea? My wife says she can come if she wants to. But even if she wants to it could be a bad environment. Also, seeing her mother in jail (which I hear is very de humanizing) could be a bad image. Her mom will be dressed in a jail uniform and is of course rightfully being treated like any other inmate but that might send a "normalizing" message to my daughter -I hear it is a hassle to get in. Also, seeing other inmates or even police officers could be intimidating to a young girl If I do allow her what should I tell her in advance to prepare her? Is it a good idea for her to ask her mother questions about all this?
 

hickslawns

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
39,770
248
Ohio
Sorry to hear of your situation. What are your daughters thoughts? Does she want to visit? Might be a good thing in the end. Help your daughter stay on the straight and narrow during the tough teen years. I just try to keep open communication with my kids on all topics. Sometimes they tell us what is needed just by listening to them. Other times we have candid conversations about topics I NEVER thought they would bring up. Even if awkward, I would rather have these conversations. Best I got is keep talking to your daughter and be there for her.
 

xbowguy

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
29,687
234
Licking Co. Ohio
Your Daughter should not bring up the questions to her Mom during the incarceration. Let Mom talk about it if SHE wants to talk about it. Everybody makes mistakes....some just get caught. And some are worst than others. Don't hate the people....hate the crime.
 

dante322

*Supporting Member*
5,506
157
Crawford county
Today's teenagers are much more informed and say about things than you might realize. After raising 2 daughters I can also say, at 14, girls are more mature than you might want to believe. If she wants to visit her mom, there really isn't any reason not to let her. If she doesn't want to, then don't try to force her to go. As far as preperations, as long as financials are in order and any arrangements for child care are taken care of there isn't much else to do. You should also keep in mind preperations for when she is released and coming home.
 

Jackalope

Dignitary Member
Staff member
38,859
260
New member. First post. Hmmm. I'll let it go until I see something spammy.
 

HeartLunger

Junior Member
248
21
since there is an off topic section here I thought I might ask about this and I have browsed this site before


My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old has been sentenced to jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter we should be glad her mother is serving time for her actions. Doing the right thing for her mistakes. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree
I think it is good to prepare in advance for her absence for the next six months. I wonder what are some good ways to do so, we still have time one of the things we must figure out is how to prepare for this upcoming incarceration. What are some good ways especially for each person to prepare for this?
My daughter seems to be taking it fine , she also said it is kind of funny that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about i shouldI take her to visit her mother when she is in jail, or is it a bad idea? My wife says she can come if she wants to. But even if she wants to it could be a bad environment. Also, seeing her mother in jail (which I hear is very de humanizing) could be a bad image. Her mom will be dressed in a jail uniform and is of course rightfully being treated like any other inmate but that might send a "normalizing" message to my daughter -I hear it is a hassle to get in. Also, seeing other inmates or even police officers could be intimidating to a young girl If I do allow her what should I tell her in advance to prepare her? Is it a good idea for her to ask her mother questions about all this?

I want to know who sent you! Was it Valerie Jarrett? Was it Harry Reid? Was it Jeh Johnson? Or was it Obama himself? Who sent you?
 

Kaiser878

Senior Member
2,633
97
ohio
I woildnt let your daughter visit your no good for nothing thieving wife..... chances are she has a broom stick shoved up her ass from a fellow inmate and twizzlers stacked in her snatch..... she has probably become addicted to cocain and will be of no use to your daughter. I would probably just start looking for a mail order bride......
 

Diane

*Supporting Member*
4,715
66
Newark
I woildnt let your daughter visit your no good for nothing thieving wife..... chances are she has a broom stick shoved up her ass from a fellow inmate and twizzlers stacked in her snatch..... she has probably become addicted to cocain and will be of no use to your daughter. I would probably just start looking for a mail order bride......

Coffee spit on my keyboard. :smiley_crocodile:
 

Dustinb80

#FACKCANCER
Supporting Member
18,192
187
S.W. Ohio
I woildnt let your daughter visit your no good for nothing thieving wife..... chances are she has a broom stick shoved up her ass from a fellow inmate and twizzlers stacked in her snatch..... she has probably become addicted to cocain and will be of no use to your daughter. I would probably just start looking for a mail order bride......

Twat Twizzlers. Makes Mouths Happy.
 

"J"

Git Off My Lawn
Supporting Member
57,023
274
North Carolina
I woildnt let your daughter visit your no good for nothing thieving wife..... chances are she has a broom stick shoved up her ass from a fellow inmate and twizzlers stacked in her snatch..... she has probably become addicted to cocain and will be of no use to your daughter. I would probably just start looking for a mail order bride......

Zach, didn't think you'd be the first outta the box..... lmao.... Yes pun intended lol...

Gotta admit, after reading this I was thinking who would make this an intro post? But read it very early this morning and not coherent enough too give an opinion....
 

hickslawns

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
39,770
248
Ohio
Didn't recognize the username. I don't see post count on tapatalk.

Friendship request received.
 

Bigslam51

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
25,778
127
Stark County
Just an all around weird post for the guys 1st, and even weirder if its on other forums as well. But I don't agree with the twizzlers, I think there's laffy taffy in her prison pocket.
 

"J"

Git Off My Lawn
Supporting Member
57,023
274
North Carolina
Didn't recognize the username. I don't see post count on tapatalk.

Friendship request received.

Phil, if you click on their profile picture it'll take you too their profile and it'll show when they joined and started and replied posts they've been involved in.... If I don't recognize the name I'll check them out..... I'm a creeper lol....