Recently, a
female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male,
fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the
Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious
behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect
explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a
drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and
squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there wasn't anyone
around', he stated.
Lawrence went on
to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that
he felt was appropriate for his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to
satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?', he
commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his
car.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer
Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this
pumpkin.'
Officer Taylor
went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
'I said:
'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and
then he looked me straight in the face and said:
'A pumpkin? Shit ...
is it midnight already?'
female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male,
fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the
Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious
behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect
explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a
drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and
squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there wasn't anyone
around', he stated.
Lawrence went on
to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that
he felt was appropriate for his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to
satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?', he
commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his
car.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer
Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this
pumpkin.'
Officer Taylor
went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
'I said:
'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and
then he looked me straight in the face and said:
'A pumpkin? Shit ...
is it midnight already?'
