What are your thoughts?

teej89 · Oct 24, 2013

So I saw this picture on FB today and I know there are parents out there on the forum and people without kids. I was interested in what everyone thought of this. I can see both sides of the fight, no one wants their kid being picked on or bullied at school but also are we softening our future society by sheltering them?

I wanna say yes we are softening society but then there's the incidents like in FL where the girl was bullied to the point where she committed suicide. I can't fathom how the bullying could get to that point where her teachers/parents didn't realize what was going on. So I'm torn on what's right, it's a fine line. How you grow up during your childhood and how you handle things really makes who you are later in life. My dad taught me to not get pushed around or accept something was right because so and so said so. I don't think he could have raised me a better way. For example one of my best friends growing up was basically raised in a fairy tale and my god he is the biggest push over ever. I've seen a waitress short him on change by $10 almost and he did nothing about it. How ever I wasn't gonna let it happen and I asked her about it and it was a complete accident and she got him the correct change, no harm no foul. We even laughed about it with her cuz she was just having an awful day and messed up.

It's funny cuz I can remember my first fight, the kids name was Zach and he was pissing me off on the bus everyday on the way home from elementary school. I told my dad I had enough and was going to confront him the next day. Then I can remember to this day my dad saying, "when you hit him you better keep going because when you stop you're only giving him a chance to hit back, never give him a chance". Well the next day I stood up to him and I listened to what my dad said and did I get picked on anymore by him? Hell no.

What are y'alls thoughts?

customizer1000 · Oct 24, 2013

I agree with it totally, our future is represented by weak people, scared to stand up, scared to bust their kids ass, its bullshit. My oldest mouthed off one day and got smacked " not beat" and he said ill call the cops cause your beating me, my reply was simple, call them, they better bring ya some new teeth with them. He has never mouthed off again

brock ratcliff · Oct 24, 2013

I have two children, Madison and Mason. My daughter, by her nature, wouldn't say something to offend someone if they kicked her dog. She's been bullied a lot over the years, but won't just tell someone to F-OFF...and as a father, I've told her to! Perhaps not the best advice, but with my limited mind, it's the best I could do.

Mason, on the other hand, has no problem telling a bully where to go. He has put a couple of kids on the ground when they bugged him a little too long. He is not one to put up with stupidity for long, but I don't believe he is one to bully others. He is kind hearted, but takes no crap.

Two kids from the same gene pool, and they are worlds apart in the way they handle things. People like my daughter need a watchdog, but I'm not certain any law will ever protect her. It's just human nature, kids are cruel, and cruel kids do not read the laws. I sincerely hope Madison learns to guide her life instead of allowing others to dictate her happiness. In her case, being bullied is partly her fault because she has put up with it. I can't tell you how frustrating that is from a father's point of view, especially one that was once a world-class smart ass.

brock ratcliff · Oct 24, 2013

customizer1000 said:
i agree with it totally, our future is represented by weak people, scared to stand up, scared to bust their kids ass, its bullshit. My oldest mouthed off one day and got smacked " not beat" and he said ill call the cops cause your beating me, my reply was simple, call them, they better bring ya some new teeth with them. He has never mouthed off again

awesome!

hickslawns · Oct 24, 2013

Interesting subject. My son was suspended 2 days this year due to a zero tolerance policy at school. He did not initiate. He simply defended himself by pushing the kid off him. Then the kid came up from behind to choke him. He shook the kid off a second time and went to teacher to report. Leaves my feelings mixed. I don't want to teach him it is okay to fight but if he will be suspended anyway I feel he should defend himself and make a point.

Overall, this is what I think of as "The pussification of America". Political correctness and such fall into this category. We are creating a nation of complacency. We are removing the drive from our kids. When "there are no losers" because we do not keep score it removes the opportunity to know success. It also removes the teaching tools our kids must learn in order to be good losers or good sports. If you never lose you never feel the need to try harder. I feel all these policies, no bullying included, are diminishing the drive in our youth. This is not good.

teej89 · Oct 24, 2013

customizer1000 said:
I agree with it totally, our future is represented by weak people, scared to stand up, scared to bust their kids ass, its bullshit. My oldest mouthed off one day and got smacked " not beat" and he said ill call the cops cause your beating me, my reply was simple, call them, they better bring ya some new teeth with them. He has never mouthed off again

Exactly how my parents were with me growing up, call the cops go ahead haha as a kid I remember being spanked, soap in the mouth, my old man yelling at me to the point where his spit would hit me in the face haha and I deserved it with the crap I did. But even after all of that I turned out pretty great well I think so at least.

But I really notice this with my 2 four year old nephews and their friends. My brother in law says he doesn't want em growing up as sissies(in other terms) so he's rough with em and always has been and these kids can take a gnarly fall on their bikes and they'll just shrug it off cuz they're weathered to not being wimps. Then their friends come over and one kid will take another kids you then all hell breaks loose kids are crying and asking for their mommy but when it happens to my nephews they go over and get it back. Which results in the kid who stole it initially crying and going to their mom. But it's not that they're bullies, they share their toys and everything else but when someone takes their stuff they don't go running to their parents to fix it. And it may sound mean but it's annoying when I see a kid be so defenseless his parents have to come to the rescue when he bullies my nephews and they take action to get back what was theirs.

Sorry had to vent that too.

Diane · Oct 24, 2013

I don't want to teach him it is okay to fight

I totally disagree. I've taught my kids (or tried to) to not start trouble, but take no shit. My oldest daughter has always done a great job at taking up for herself and was suspended twice for fighting. The first time, yes, she should have let it go. But the second time, that girl not only deserved it, but I took her shopping during her suspension.

I home schooled my kids through the 7th grade and when each one was about to enter the 8th grade, I put them in our little country school. My youngest son (who is small anyway) got picked on by some bully. I found out that my son had let this kid actually spit on him and my son did nothing about it. I grounded my son for NOT beating the chit out of him and told my son that if he ever let anyone spit on him again, he better lay into them or I'd be beating the crap out of him for not defending himself.

My parents raised me to always turn the other cheek. This has NOT served me well over my lifetime, which is why I've tried to raise my kids differently. To this day, I let people walk all over me personally. Until it comes to my kids, then I'm a hellcat.

There will always be mean, nasty people in this world. We need to teach our kids how to deal with that and take up for themselves.

I'm also busy now trying to teach my grandkids about taking up for themselves. My oldest grand daughter is so gentle and really needs to learn to be stronger. I worry about people pushing her around due to her nature.

at1010 · Oct 24, 2013

I think a large problem is not the Bully or the Victim. A problem is other children not standing up for what is right.

Lets look at this from a bit older perspective. I went to Ohio U. Do you know how many times I saw guys bullying girls because they wouldnt go "home" with them. I mean physically grabing them, pulling them, calling them names, etc. This has all evolved from child hood bullies, and no one in the crowd ever steps up to them.

Few years ago a guy tried to pull that on a good girl friend of mine. She asked for help 3 times, and asked him to stop. Needless to say I had to risk going to Jail for punching this guy in the mouth a few times. I would do it over again, cause it was the right thing to do. I am not saying fighting is always needed, but in todays society no one sticks up for WHAT IS RIGHT anymore.

Mike · Oct 24, 2013

Ever kneel on rice? We did. Old Ukrainian discipline.:smiley_coolpeace: I respected my parents and my dads belt. I'm about sick of how the way schools are teaching our kids.

Diane · Oct 24, 2013

in todays society no one sticks up for WHAT IS RIGHT anymore.

X-2

hickslawns · Oct 24, 2013

Diane said:
I totally disagree. I've taught my kids (or tried to) to not start trouble, but take no shit.

I think there is a happy medium in your bolded text for sure. There is a fine line for sure though and each situation dictates where the line should be drawn. In my opinion this is a difficult thing to teach. Just my thoughts.

My parents raised me to always turn the other cheek. This has NOT served me well over my lifetime, which is why I've tried to raise my kids differently. To this day, I let people walk all over me personally. Until it comes to my kids, then I'm a hellcat.

There will always be mean, nasty people in this world. We need to teach our kids how to deal with that and take up for themselves.

Probably the reason it is difficult for me is because my parents were the same as yours Diane. Fighting was NOT tolerated. I was bullied since I was one of the smallest kids in my class up until my junior or senior year when I started growing. In 6th grade I tolerated a lot of bullying from one kid. Ironically he was about the only one smaller than me, but he had his own little posse of buddies who backed him up. My parents were aware of what was going on. Finally, one day I flat out decked the kid. Dotted his eye with a shiner and a half. Last time I was bullied by anyone. That said, to this day if the conversation comes up my mother beams with pride about how I gave B_ _ _ n a black eye in 6th grade. Deep down she was proud of me for standing up for myself but at the time she refused to tell me to deck him.

I am attempting to teach our kids about drive, determination, assertiveness, and respect. I am also trying to teach our kids about responsibility for their actions, self discipline, and honesty. In today's world, this is quite a challenge. Back in the day you got out of line and the coach slammed you against a locker and said "Knock that shit off boys or you will ALL be running extra laps." Now the coach can't get the kids to run laps if they try out for the track team. lol

Diane · Oct 24, 2013

Back in the day you got out of line and the coach slammed you against a locker and said "Knock that shit off boys or you will ALL be running extra laps." Now the coach can't get the kids to run laps if they try out for the track team. lol

That had me laughing. Unfortunately, it's also true. :smiley_blackeye:

Hoytmania · Oct 24, 2013

I cam vividly remember the sound of my dad's belt snapping as he was pulling it out to whoop my asset. I must be a statistical person because I heard that at least once a month. You would think I would have learned to keep my nose clean. Lol. Looming back was the best thing he ever did for me.

at1010 · Oct 24, 2013

Hoytmania said:
I cam vividly remember the sound of my dad's belt snapping as he was pulling it out to whoop my asset. I must be a statistical person because I heard that at least once a month. You would think I would have learned to keep my nose clean. Lol. Looming back was the best thing he ever did for me.

This brought back a lot of memories!!! HAHAHA My ol man used to slip off his shoes when I got to fast in the yard and whip them at me hahahah he caught me a few times! hahaha

This society in general is too damn sensitive, and ppl who arent all about rainbows and fairytales get treated like shit.

Outdoorsfellar · Oct 24, 2013

Yep, the sound of the 'ol belt coming out thru the belt loops brings back memories. Speaking of the pussification of America, what about the dumbass parent who filed a bullying complaint against a more superior football team. This shit of teaching kids that everyone is a winner is so fucked up. That's why kids go wetting their panties everytime they feel they were wronged for the most trivial things anymore.

dante322 · Oct 24, 2013

Heard a story on the radio yesterday. I think this happened in either texs or arkansas.

High school football game. One team won with a score of 91 to nothing. A parent from the loosing team filed bullying charges against the coach of the winning team. Noshit. This is the liberal pussified society we are becoming.

dante322 · Oct 24, 2013

what about the dumbass parent who filed a bullying complaint against a more superior football team. This shit of teaching kids that everyone is a winner is so fucked up. That's why kids go wetting their panties everytime they feel they were wronged for the most trivial things anymore.

beat me to it kevin. LOL. I should learn to type faster.

Outdoorsfellar · Oct 24, 2013

Well Dave, you should delete your post & let me get all the credit...lol j/k

Curran · Oct 24, 2013

Hoytmania said:
I cam vividly remember the sound of my dad's belt snapping as he was pulling it out to whoop my asset. I must be a statistical person because I heard that at least once a month. You would think I would have learned to keep my nose clean. Lol. Looming back was the best thing he ever did for me.

Hell yes Hoyt!! I can still hear that belt slapping through every belt loop as it was getting whipped out. My butt cheeks are clinching up just thinking about it. rotflmao It didn't happen often, and I can honestly say it never ever happened when I didn't deserve it.

As far as the Texas football incident, I saw that & instantly got mad. Anybody that knows me knows I'm not a bully, and don't condone bullying, but the parent that filed the complaint needs a wedgie where his underwear band ends up over his head.

As a parent I try to teach my kids to stand up for what is right, even if it's not the cool thing to do. I teach them to stand up for themselves too, and tell them that if they're in a situation where they have to defend themselves then it's OK to hit back, but try to walk away and to take the high road first. I have absolutely no issue with my kids fighting back if the fight is brought to them. On the other hand, if they ever are the ones starting something they're gonna get it 10x worse at home.

As far as sport go... from the past few years of coaching youngsters beginning at age 5, I've seen that most kids are competitive. Most kids are keeping score and want to know if they're winning or not. Most kids want to perform, and to perform well enough to win. We should embrace that and encourage that. Yes, sportsmanship needs to also be taught, and it is. BUT scores need to be kept!!! Winners should get a bigger trophy than the losers do. That's life kids, and the sooner they realize that hard work actually pays off, the better our society will be. Unfortunately that's not what youth sports leagues across this country are teaching. As a wise man once said, it's re-god-damn-diculous.

hickslawns · Oct 24, 2013

Curran said:
Hell yes Hoyt!! I can still hear that belt slapping through every belt loop as it was getting whipped out. My butt cheeks are clinching up just thinking about it. rotflmao It didn't happen often, and I can honestly say it never ever happened when I didn't deserve it.

Can't believe you guys are starting the memories part way. I recall the belt tears as well. It didn't start with the belt whipping thru the loops of the pants though. I remember the jingle of the buckle first, then the snap-snap-snap-snap on each belt loop. Vivid memories. I deserved every one of them I got from my dad. No doubt.

What are your thoughts?

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