SCOTTISH WEDDING
At a Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled, "Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
LANCE ARMSTRONG
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, all while on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frigg’n bike.
THE AGONY OF AGING
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended, I stopped in to visit my aging friend. When I arrived, he was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You’d better get your hearing checked, you're supposed to turn your clock back."
SCAM
Just got scammed out of $24.95.
I bought a Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's about golf.
Absolute waste of money!
PREGNANT PROSTITUTE
The doctor asked a pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?"
The prostitute said, "Seriously, if you ate a can of beans, would you know which one made you fart?"
At a Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled, "Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
LANCE ARMSTRONG
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, all while on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frigg’n bike.
THE AGONY OF AGING
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended, I stopped in to visit my aging friend. When I arrived, he was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You’d better get your hearing checked, you're supposed to turn your clock back."
SCAM
Just got scammed out of $24.95.
I bought a Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's about golf.
Absolute waste of money!
PREGNANT PROSTITUTE
The doctor asked a pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?"
The prostitute said, "Seriously, if you ate a can of beans, would you know which one made you fart?"