Because the universe is essentially a cold and unfeeling place, and our job as navigators of its vast reaches is to gain whatever small pleasures we can through processed meats, Oscar Mayer is unveiling a "Bacon Dog" (the product will be "widely available" by June). "We know Americans love bacon, and we know they love hot dogs, so it seemed like the perfect time for us to introduce our first hot dog made with bacon," said Jared Baker, director of Oscar Mayer hot dogs. Frankly, if the amount of R&D dollars it took to ascertain that "Americans love bacon" was greater than zero, we can save Oscar Mayer a ton. Give us ALL the jobs.
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