One day it starts getting crowded up in Heaven, so St. Peter announces to the people lined up at the Pearly Gates that for the rest of the day only those with really hard luck stories will be getting in.
The first guy approaches and St. Peter says, “OK buddy, let’s hear the hard luck story.”
So the guy proceeds to tell him:
“Well, for the last few weeks I have been certain that my wife was cheating on me, so today I left work early and headed home with the intention of catching her in the act. I went into our apartment building and up to the 29th floor where we live, and I burst through the door and headed towards our bedroom. I could hear some noises being made, but by the time I flung open our bedroom door all I saw was my naked and sweaty wife. I started screaming at her and I tore open the closet doors and looked under the bed, but I couldn’t find anyone else. I was just about to give up when I suddenly heard a noise out on our balcony. I went out there and sure enough, there was a naked guy dangling from our ledge, 29 stories up. I was so mad that I started punching and kicking him, but he held on so I went back inside, grabbed a hammer, and smashed his fingers. He let go and plunged down all 29 flights, but the lucky sonofab*tch managed to hit the awning outside our building and bounce into the bushes. At this point I was so mad that I rushed into our kitchen, ripped the refrigerator out of the wall, dragged it onto the balcony and threw it down on top of him. It did the trick, but all that exertion got to me and I had a massive heart attack, and well, here I am.”
St. Peter says, “Yeah, that’s a hard luck story all right. Go ahead and go on in.”
The next guy comes to the line and St. Peter says, “OK, give me your hard luck story.”
The guy tells him:
“Well, I live on the 30th floor of an apartment building and I like to sunbathe nude on my balcony in the afternoon. I was out there today catching some rays when I suddenly heard a great commotion going on one floor below. I went to the end of my balcony and peered down over the railing, but I slipped and tumbled over it and started to fall down. Luckily, I managed to catch myself on the ledge one floor below, and suddenly a guy came out. I figured he would help me, but instead he starts punching and kicking me. I held on with all my might, but he eventually got a hammer and smashed my fingers, so I let go and fell down to the bottom. I must have hit our building’s awning and bounced into the bushes, by the grace of god I was still alive! I was just regaining my senses when I looked up the last thing I saw was this giant refrigerator falling down on me, and well, here I am.”
“Yep,” St. Peter says, “that’s a hard luck story alright. Come on in.”
A third guy approaches and St. Peter says, “You know the drill. Tell me your hard luck story.”
To this the guy responds:
“Picture this. You’re scared and cold and you’re hiding naked in this refrigerator. . .”
The first guy approaches and St. Peter says, “OK buddy, let’s hear the hard luck story.”
So the guy proceeds to tell him:
“Well, for the last few weeks I have been certain that my wife was cheating on me, so today I left work early and headed home with the intention of catching her in the act. I went into our apartment building and up to the 29th floor where we live, and I burst through the door and headed towards our bedroom. I could hear some noises being made, but by the time I flung open our bedroom door all I saw was my naked and sweaty wife. I started screaming at her and I tore open the closet doors and looked under the bed, but I couldn’t find anyone else. I was just about to give up when I suddenly heard a noise out on our balcony. I went out there and sure enough, there was a naked guy dangling from our ledge, 29 stories up. I was so mad that I started punching and kicking him, but he held on so I went back inside, grabbed a hammer, and smashed his fingers. He let go and plunged down all 29 flights, but the lucky sonofab*tch managed to hit the awning outside our building and bounce into the bushes. At this point I was so mad that I rushed into our kitchen, ripped the refrigerator out of the wall, dragged it onto the balcony and threw it down on top of him. It did the trick, but all that exertion got to me and I had a massive heart attack, and well, here I am.”
St. Peter says, “Yeah, that’s a hard luck story all right. Go ahead and go on in.”
The next guy comes to the line and St. Peter says, “OK, give me your hard luck story.”
The guy tells him:
“Well, I live on the 30th floor of an apartment building and I like to sunbathe nude on my balcony in the afternoon. I was out there today catching some rays when I suddenly heard a great commotion going on one floor below. I went to the end of my balcony and peered down over the railing, but I slipped and tumbled over it and started to fall down. Luckily, I managed to catch myself on the ledge one floor below, and suddenly a guy came out. I figured he would help me, but instead he starts punching and kicking me. I held on with all my might, but he eventually got a hammer and smashed my fingers, so I let go and fell down to the bottom. I must have hit our building’s awning and bounced into the bushes, by the grace of god I was still alive! I was just regaining my senses when I looked up the last thing I saw was this giant refrigerator falling down on me, and well, here I am.”
“Yep,” St. Peter says, “that’s a hard luck story alright. Come on in.”
A third guy approaches and St. Peter says, “You know the drill. Tell me your hard luck story.”
To this the guy responds:
“Picture this. You’re scared and cold and you’re hiding naked in this refrigerator. . .”
